The transformative journey through Co-Production from the inside out

In this blog team member, Siobhan (who is taking part in the Measuring Success Programme) mentions her challenging lived experiences and describes what happens when we stop looking at life through the lens of our story and co-produce by simply being our authentic selves.

My lived experience contains child abuse, neglect, foster care, sexual abuse, addiction, suicide attempts, self-harming, bulimia, rough sleeping, prostitution, crime, domestic violence survivor, being an ex cult member, diagnosis of complex PTSD and dissociative seizures and decades of traditional therapy and medication.

I joined the team of the ‘Co-production from the inside out’ project which is part of the Measuring Success in Co-production programme, co-funded by Co-production Collective at UCL, UCL Grand Challenges and The Academy of Medical Sciences, in January 2024. The project aims to co-produce a mental health wellbeing course with a community organisation that supports vulnerable people.

How I felt at our first team meeting

I remember our first team meeting and how insecure I felt and how much I restricted myself to ensure that I didn’t cross any boundaries, making sure that I ‘knew my place and stayed in my lane’. “Siobhan, make sure you only share your story because this is the only reason you have been asked to be on this team” is what I told myself. I was very intimidated by the experience and my highly educated team members. I thought that I wasn’t intelligent enough and that my contributions wouldn’t be good enough.

Realising that I was caught up in my thinking, I decided to be vulnerable and shared this insecurity with my team. I quickly realised, it didn’t matter if I wasn’t a successful criminal lawyer, like my colleague Louise or an experienced Wellbeing Facilitator like Derrick, Susan and Liliana or an intelligent researcher like Nici. We all felt the same way of having to take on a role, or a label, and ‘stay in our lane’. Hearing my colleague Kate share that she felt like she had nothing to contribute because she was fairly new to the inside out approach as well, really put me at ease. I realised that we are all the same, no matter what background we have.

I didn’t only judge myself but also my colleagues by assuming that this must be very easy for them. This is when I had my first insight to drop my story and just show up as my authentic self and to my surprise, I was received with open arms.

How I now feel at meetings

Our meetings were amazing, they often didn’t feel like work at all. We connected by sharing insights at the beginning of every team meeting by simply sharing what we had experienced that week or what we had seen that was helpful for ourselves in our private lives. Even then, it became very evident that we are all the same on the inside, no matter what background, education or financial status we have. This connected us and we became one, and most importantly, it levelled the playing field. Once we finished sharing our insights, there was always this beautiful feeling of connection and trust. We were able to work from that space, which inspired us to come up with great ideas for our project in the moment.

Even when I got caught up in my overthinking at times, I knew that that was okay too and I could just drop back and listen and trust that what comes through from within me, would be beneficial to our project just like everyone else’s input.

How we created the space to be our authentic selves

• We listened deeply to each other, even when we had different opinions.
• We discussed these with kindness and understanding, listening and even appreciating people’s different perspectives.
• Everyone’s voice mattered equally.
• There was no hierarchy, and it was a very inclusive work environment.

What this experience has taught me so far

Being part of this amazing team has shown me that I am so much more than my lived experience, and with this insight and the constant support of my team, I have done things that I have never done before. This has included:

• Getting in touch with a women’s’ refuge about our project
• Pitching to them and securing their involvement
• Taking the initiative to set up meetings to agree who would be best to co-produce the mental health wellbeing course with
• Public speaking at conferences and events

…and so much more.

I know that I will never be the same again after this project ends, as I can now see more than ever before what can happen if we simply show up as our authentic self.

Yes, there have been bumps in the road and things we could have done better but even then, we just talk and most importantly listen to each other and learn from it and move on. Everyone took responsibility for their own ego or insecurities that can get in the way of the organic flow of co-production. Once these disappeared we all dropped into this beautiful feeling of being our authentic selves and showing up from that space, we were unstoppable and truly connected as ONE. Not solely relying on our intellect but on the wisdom that guides us from within, when we are open and flexible to hearing and seeing new ways of how things could be done, made absolutely everything possible. Once this happened, even co-production with seven people with completely different backgrounds becomes effortless.

Illustrations by Nici Butchart

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To find out more about the Measuring Success Programme go to our webpage or contact coproduction@ucl.ac.uk

To find out more about this project please contact Siobhan at info@thebigsimple.org.

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Co-production from the Inside out team:

Siobhan Kunadu-Yiadom, Kate Sherwell, Derrick Mason, Louise Scott, Susan Marmot, Liliana Bellini – The Big Simple

Nici Butchart – Innate Health Research

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