Recognising and Acknowledging White Privilege: My Journey in Becoming an Ally

I am writing this blog to share my journey in understanding and acknowledging my privilege as a white person and becoming a better ally for people from the Global Majority. I hope that reading about my experience will be encouraging and helpful to others on a similar path..

I grew up speaking two languages – Italian and Serbian – and living in various countries on different continents. I always felt like a foreigner, wherever I was, and whatever my language proficiency. Ultimately I was never ‘like the other people’ and I never felt that I had the absolutely full command of any of the languages I spoke.

Being an outsider and the desire to fit in without standing out made me particularly sensitive and curious about other people’s experiences. I have always asked myself: ‘What does it feel like…?’ Whenever I’ve had the chance, I have shared this curiosity with my friends and acquaintances.

It is not easy to accept another’s experience when for a while it mirrors your own, but then it suddenly takes another route. And this is especially true when we are talking about unpleasant, awkward or sad experiences, or those that make us angry.

In the past few years, I have been involved in healthcare research as a public member and person with lived experience. Some time after the birth of my son, I started engaging in conversations on pregnancy, birth and motherhood, which stemmed from the attempt to better understand my own experience.

During my work and interactions with researchers and parents I inevitably came across upsetting stories of maternal mortality and the shocking 2019 statistics that in the UK black and Asian women suffer stark health disparities with far worse outcomes compared to their white counterparts – black women were 5 times more likely to die in childbirth, Asian women were twice as likely and mixed ethnicity women were 3 times as likely than white women. Seeing these numbers black on white made me truly reconsider many things and gave me new focus in the way I listen, learn and act in my work and in everyday life.

I have always been acutely aware of racism, but what I did not realise was that by not actively questioning my own privilege, I was failing to see the full picture.

Since I started my work in healthcare research, I have been forced to see very real effects and consequences of racist attitudes and actions in the UK. Over time, through conversations, reading, and self-reflection, I began to understand that racism is not just about individual prejudice – it is about systems, structures, and the ways in which some people, like me, benefit without even realising it. Recognising this is an important step, but it is only the beginning.

Privilege does not mean my life has been easy; it means my skin colour has never been a barrier. No one assumes I am suspicious when I walk into a shop. I’ve never been asked to change my hairstyle to fit in. If I make a mistake, people do not see it as a reflection on all other white people. And when I buy beauty products the terms ‘nude’ or ‘skin colour’ actually coincide with my skin colour! These are things I took for granted.

Understanding privilege is uncomfortable. Sometimes, I feel defensive – I feel like I want to prove that I am not racist, or that I ‘do understand’ – but I came to see that this is beside the point. Instead of focusing on my feelings, I want to consider my impact. Instead of feeling bad, awkward or even guilty, I want to take responsibility.

Acknowledging inequity is important, but it’s not enough. I constantly look for tangible ways to be involved and to question and challenge the status quo. This means:

• Educating myself – I attend conferences, read articles and interviews and continuously engage in conversations to deepen my understanding and challenge any preconceived views I may have.
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• Listening more than speaking – rather than focusing on my own feelings, I try to be an active listener and accept other people’s feelings and experiences without looking at them through the previously mentioned tinted lenses and without trying to come up with solutions, or worse still, reasons.
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• Speaking up – whether in conversations with friends, in professional settings, or in moments of everyday life, I challenge racism when I see it, in whatever form it appears (and often it is not in full view).

This process has not always been easy. There have been moments of discomfort and mistakes along the way, but being an ally is not about being perfect – it is about being committed.

Something else I try to be mindful of is that my role in this space isn’t to lead – it is to support. White people are used to taking up space in discussions, but when it comes to racial equity, the most important is listening, actively listening. This does not mean we should not be engaged, but we need to be mindful of when to step back and let others lead the conversation. I feel disappointed and angry to see how few white people attend conferences, seminars or webinars on these topics, yet often they are invited as speakers.

At times, I do find myself wanting to share my own realisations or feelings, but I’ve come to understand that social justice work is not about making myself feel better or imposing my own view, however pertinent it might appear in that moment – it is about change.

This journey is ongoing. There is no moment where I will have “succeeded” in being fully educated or perfectly anti-racist. But what I do know is that I have a responsibility to keep learning, to keep challenging myself, and to keep using my privilege to push for equity. It is about being willing to listen, to learn, to change and to act. And while that might feel uncomfortable at times, that discomfort is nothing compared to the injustices faced by those who don’t have the choice to ignore them.

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Photo Credit: Canva

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